Discipline of Children

 

Good discipline is an indication of true love. It shows that we are willing to undergo the exhausting process in order to seek another’s good.

 

Though the Bible encourages many forms of behavioral modification including, teaching, encouraging, reproving, rebuking, separation from and even excommunication (whether corporate or interpersonal), it does not stop short of physical discipline. A person who will only go “so far no more” in helping develop their child’s character clearly demonstrates the limits of their love.

 

A child is at its most malleable when it is youngest. At a certain point it becomes so difficult to modify their character that the job is nearly impossible. The second half of this verse is an example of how the Bible often presents several simultaneous and equally valid interpretations. Refusing to discipline our young children is defined as an intent to kill them. Leaving them with their bad character and uncontrolled sin nature could lead to their early demise. On the other hand, in our discipline we must be restrained and not permanently damage them – thus, don’t be intent on killing them.

 

We need to realize that not only will their lack of character possibly lead to an early death, but that it will have eternal ramifications. If we leave them proud and arrogant, self-centered and willful, how will they ever be humble enough to yield to the fact that they are sinners in need of a Savior?

 

If we dedicate our child to a way of life or habitual thought pattern, as he ages it (the thought pattern) will never leave him. For a more detailed midrash on this passage, go here.

 

While our culture almost celebrates infantile foolishness, the Bible instructs parents to faithfully, patiently, carefully and diligently remove it from our children. Biblically speaking, childishness and immaturity is a liability.

 

El Ch’uwl – God our Parent (Deuteronomy 32:18) – is a perfect parent. We must take our parenting tips from Him. His intent is the development of maturity in His children, even if that process is difficult and painful.

 

We must never allow behavior in a toddler that we would not allow in a teenager. Everything that we fail to discipline and modify in our children will become engrained in their character. If we don’t like teens that run up and interrupt conversations, insisting that they are the center of the universe, then we must not allow it in our toddlers. If we don’t we will be embarrassed by their rude behavior later.

 

On the other hand, a well-disciplined, thoughtful, mature and loving child who has been taught to serve others and to love God will be a great source of comfort in our old age.

 

This ability to patiently and lovingly discipline is so critical that it is required in stewards of God’s house.

 

Children are not allowed to disregard their parents. They are not allowed to disobey – ever. If they are not taught to honor their human parents, who they can see, how will they ever learn to honor and obey their heavenly Father?

 

While following what most unbelievers would consider a stern path of child discipline, we must be careful that we balance our discipline with compassion and love. We don’t want to stir up anger and resentment against the Lord in our children. Holy fear of the Lord is one thing. Bitter hatred is another.

 

Proper discipline entails far more than simply punishing bad behavior. Proper discipline must also include the positive encouragement of good and wise behavior. Thus, part of our discipline must entail teaching them the Scriptures.