Steps to resolving conflict

Question: How can we resolve the conflict in our church?

Answer:

First, identify a frequent cause of conflict: discomfort. Most discomfort comes from change. Mark Twain said, “Only a baby with a wet diaper likes change.” But understand this: Resistance to change is a spiritual issue.

In every church, some trust in Jesus Christ for eternal life, and others focus on works righteousness. This frequently differentiates tradition from traditionalism. Tradition is the living faith of the dead. Hebrews 11 is the encouragement we get from what God did. Traditionalism is the dead faith of the living. It’s focused on the works of people, customs, and buildings. There’s a direct parallel between faith and change—the initiation of conflict.

Second, diagnose the problem. If you examine the statistics of conflict within a church you will often discover that it is a relatively small dissenting group. The volume of their talk may sound like the majority while in fact, they may be a small minority.

Third, teach and practice Matthew 18. Teach people not to listen to gossip. If no one listened, no one could gossip. Confront conflict immediately. Like cancer, it grows quickly. Early detection, early diagnoses, and early care saves the patient—the body of Christ.

Speak the truth in a spirit of love. Love the sinner; hate the sin. Be consistent.

If conflict is at an extreme emotional level, consider using an outside interventionist. The consultant may be able to sort out the forest from the trees and insulate the leaders from reactionary behavior.

You can be a conflict survivor!